


Valentine's Day Massacre

by missrhondalee



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Humor, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29392989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missrhondalee/pseuds/missrhondalee
Summary: Valentine's day sucks.
Relationships: Laverne DeFazio/Carmine Ragusa
Comments: 7
Kudos: 2





	Valentine's Day Massacre

**Author's Note:**

> Please, do read my bio/profile before reading/commenting.

Carmine Ragusa kicked a pebble as he walked down the sidewalk toward the apartment building grateful this interminable Valentine's day was coming to an end. For years, he'd always liked the holiday even if it was superficial but ever since Shirley dumped him for Walter and then married the guy, it just depressed him now. Sure, deep down, he was happy for her that she'd found happiness. She was his friend after all, but the situation seriously took a toll on his self esteem.

However, tired of feeling like a loser, Carmine had forced himself to go outside and try and meet someone tonight. Wasn't Valentine's day supposed to be the most romantic time of the year? Wasn't it the most ideal day to meet someone? The fact that he was coming home alone clearly proved that he failed miserably. Carmine sighed loudly as he stepped closer to the building entrance knowing he was going to spend another night staring at the ceiling feeling sorry for himself. A car pulled up just as he was about to get inside and he was startled to see Laverne getting out of it.

“Your wife's a nutcase! You belong together!” Laverne shouted now slamming the door. She then picked up a pebble and threw it angrily at the car as it drove off.

Laverne's misadventure snapped Carmine out of his dark thoughts instantly.

“Wow. You okay, Laverne? What was that all about?”

Laverne jumped at the sound of his voice completely unaware that he was standing beside her. “Carmine!” And now she was mortified on top of already feeling like shit.

She heard him gasp at the sight of her bruised face, he looked downright alarmed. She looked like someone beat her up or something. “My God. What happened to you?”

She stammered, “What are you doing here?” Laverne winced, “You saw that, huh?”

“Saw and heard as most of the neighbors did, too. I'm afraid.”

He took a closer look at her injury, “Is that a black eye? What happened?” Carmine asked again but then nodded already knowing the answer. “Let me guess. He turned out to be married.”

“That obvious, huh?”

“It's sort of become a recurrent pattern, it seems.” Carmine regretted saying that the second the words flew out of his mouth. Even more when he noticed her lower lip trembling. Was it because he too, was feeling crummy that he had to put her down? Cursing himself for his insensitivity, he apologized wrapping a consoling arm around her shoulders. “I'm sorry. That was thoughtless. I shouldn't have said that.”

She wiped her tears quickly and he tried looking into her eyes. Her injury was really worrying him now. “That looks really nasty.”

“And it hurts too.” it, however, didn't hurt as much as how Laverne felt on the inside though.

She took a step back when he tried to examine her. “It's okay. I'll be gentle. I promise.”

“So, what happened?” he asked yet again and she sighed sadly as Laverne finally told him. “Well, his wife showed up. But you already figured that part out.”

She was sadly used to wives going crazy on her because of the married losers she kept stumbling upon but this woman tonight was something else entirely. “Usually, when it gets physical with the guy's wife I can pretty much take her.” Carmine almost smiled at how confident about that she appeared to be.

“I never blame them because they too, have been fooled. It's not their fault they married a scumbag. But this one caught me off guard.” to say the least. If Laverne wasn't unlucky enough, this guy's wife turned out to be fond of karate. “Never saw it coming. She knocked me unconscious. Next thing I know I'm waking up next to him on the passenger seat. He felt bad so he took me home. Kind of ironic to develop a conscience now.”

“I never thought I could end up in a situation worse than what happened last year when I fell into that horrid fish tank.” she groaned at the thought of it. “Turns out that I could. Life really never stops screwing you over, huh?”

She shrugged sniffling with tears, “I'm a loser.” she had to be for only dating married creeps or so she thought. Carmine was right, it had become a recurrent pattern.

Carmine shook his head, “Nah. They are the losers. Certainly not you.”

“That was the worst night-”

“It's not over yet. We can still turn the night around and have a good time.”

“ _We_?” Laverne almost smiled, “Is that a proposition?”

Carmine chuckled, “I think you could use some company right now.” and he sure could use hers too. He felt somehow connected to her tonight, their mutual misfortune joining them together. “What do you say?”

“What if we hadn't crossed paths tonight?”

“Everything happens for a reason. Call it kismet.”

“Okay.” Laverne tilted her head back as Carmine applied the raw steak, which was supposed to be tomorrow's lunch, to her swollen eye. “Now keep it like this for a couple of minutes. Should help with the swelling.”

He sat beside her on the couch, “And how was your evening, Carmine?”

“Well, I'm single on Valentine's day. What do you think?”

“Shirley's got Walter and what do I have?” he gestured around, “Air.”

Although she had to move her head slightly around to face him, Laverne did notice the sad look on his face. It sure couldn't have been easy for him then when Shirley got married.

“Aww, you'll find someone too.”

It was really tough to stay positive at this point. “Yeah, right.”

“If it can make you feel better, I think the best guy she's ever dated was you. Not that I don't like Walter or anything but I think she should have considered you more than she did.” Sure, them dating other people was their understanding but if Shirley had been truly satisfied with who Carmine was, they would have never come up with one in the first place. “You're a great catch.” She removed the steak for a second to wink at him but immediately regretted it.

Carmine laughed as she winced in pain. “You really mean that?”

She elbowed him playfully, “You know I do.”

They smiled at each other and they weren't feeling so bad now. “Say, would you be interested in playing cards or something?” he offered spotting his deck of cards on the coffee table. A game was exactly what he needed to distract himself from the disturbing thoughts.

“Uh, okay. Yeah. My eye's a bit better.”

“How about strip poker?”

Laverne giggled now, “Ha ha. Getting naughty this evening, are we.”

“I'm serious.” he grabbed the cards, “I shuffle, you deal.”

“We're gonna see each other...”

He finished her sentence. “In our underwear. And I'm the naughty one.”

“Bra included, right?”

“Well, I'm not wearing one at the moment but I'll make an exception to the rule.”

She giggled again, much louder this time. He laughed too. “Sounds fair?”

“Bring it on.”


End file.
